Contrarianism flirts with absurdity by nature


For the last couple years a guy I know has aimlessly chased after a woman who clearly doesn’t like him that way.  Literally since August ’08 this guy has been lust struck and refusing to recognize any of the signals – many subtle and polite whereas some brash and louder than a thousand jet engines. I used to feel sorry for the guy, but that was a good 20 months back before I began to grasp how grating “his moves” must be for her. There’s a million pathetic wrong turns in this script and many are just too racy for my present mood. Over time I’ve realized I’m part of a circle of four who get to hear these stories, including a paid therapist the guy has been seeing for much of this same period. No one has been advising him to continue on with this.

In the latest episode he goes over to her place after “asking to come over” and upon his arrival comes the request that he watch her kids while she goes to the store to get some groceries. She leaves and then a couple hours later texts him that she is running late. Like a schmuck he tells her to take her time. She texts back “I hope you mean that.” A few more hours go by and he gets another text from her stating she is at a bar with a friend whom she hadn’t seen in a while. The only reason he got the story about the bar is because she unwittingly ran into some friends of his there. Anyway, when she finally came back home he expressed his hurt feelings about the incident. Her stance was non-apologetic and she told him he was acting like a girl. He proceeded to prove her point and then went home. Some kind of Saturday night.

The moral of the story is that ignoring the messages won’t change the outcome and surely won’t stop reality from smacking you upside the head over and over.

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